I usually blog about the cool stuff that AJ does - stuff that’s funny or cute or touching. But what about the other stuff?
What about when it’s raw and painful?
What about when it’s just ugly? Does anyone want to hear about that?
What if a little boy walks up to AJ and says “Do you want to be on my team?” and AJ screams in his face “NO!”, and the little boy cries?
What if AJ says “Yeah, I know I made you cry, but I don’t feel bad about it?”
What if AJ hits me and laughs?
What if I cry and AJ’s response is “Will you shut up, I’m trying to think?”
What if AJ spends an entire day hitting, screaming, and making fun of me?
What if I completely lose my cool and scream back at him?
What if it all gets to be too much and I consider residential placement because he’s getting so violent?
What if the only thing I want for my birthday is to be alone, and I can’t get it?
What if the bad days outnumber the good?
What if AJ runs away in a corn maze and I can’t find him for what seems like forever, and when I do, he runs away again?
What if this is the new normal?