Holidaze

Since Thanksgiving, the little man has been out of control. He is so stressed out and anxious about Christmas. Constant tantrums, problems in school, defiance, fighting, etc. We can't wait for this season to be over. He is streesed about being around so many people, so many changes in his normal schedule, etc. And yet, he is excited about Christmas. It has just been so stressful for all of us. After the holiday break, it should all go back to normal on January 2nd, we hope. And this too shall pass...

Peace out - peace in...

The Blame Game

Whenever someone new finds out you have a child with autism, several things can happen:

1. Pity in the form of "Oh, you poor woman. How do you do it? That must be so hard. etc, etc"
Ok, Moms with autistic kids don't want pity. We love our kids, we are proud of our kids. Being a parent is HARD. Being a parent of a child with autism is HARDER. But, they are our kids. They are not a tragedy - they are people.

2. Blame in the form of "Did you vaccinate him too soon? Did you eat tuna? Did you give him too much sugar? Did you hold him too much? Did you not hold him enough? etc, etc, etc" Come on people. STOP!!!! More than anything else - there is no known cause of autism. There is no blame. Just stop. Just listen. Just support. Enough with the blame!!!!

Don't surprise him

When will we learn?? We took the little man to Water Fire in Providence. We had so much fun there. Lots of people, lots of noise - and still, he had fun, and so did we. Then he wanted to go get ice cream. It was a warm night, so we said OK. But it was late, so we told him that he couldn't have "snack time" at home - that this would count as snack time. He had a fit and said he didn't expect that and it wasn't fair, because we didn't warn him. I had to admit - he was right. We wound up compromising on a shorter snack time. When will we learn?!?!?! Let him know first - come on - how hard is that?!?!

Peace out.

Smooth Roads

Well, we seem to be past the bump. He is still not wanting to write at all - he HATES to write. It is so hard for him. And if he can't do something perfectly, he'd rather not do it at all. We are trying to let him know that it doesn't have to be perfect, but I don't think he's buying it at all. OK, if anyone is reading this - any ideas on getting an Aspie to write? I hate to make him do things he hates, but it's school. What can we do?? They will let him use a keyboard, but he's not really interested in that, either.

We just keep on keeping on...

Peace out.

A Bump In The Road

Yesterday was a bump in the road. At least we hope it was a bump, and not a trend... Yesterday afternoon our little man refused to do any work at school. The second half of the day was a complete wash. He wouldn't/couldn't do any work or, in fact, cooperate at all. He wouldn't talk to me at all. Full moon, maybe? Who knows. Hoping today is a better day.

Peace out...

Getting Better

Well, school is getting better. Since Monday, he's been spending almost all day in the regular ed class. Maybe an hour - 2hours in special ed. So, definitely headed in the right direction. I know that he's trying very hard, and the teachers are trying very hard for him. At least we feel like we know what they are doing. I guess we'll see what happens now...

Peace out.

Let the fun begin

Well, I just got a phone call. The munchkin was screaming in the background. He was yelling that he can do whatever he wants, and that he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do. I am at my wits end. Every school he has been to has tried to have him removed. The last one actually succeed. This is our last shot - and he's only 7. He is so totally out of control. Everything is fine as long as he is doing what he wants. The minute he has to do something he doesn't like, or someone tells him no, the screaming and hitting starts. I can't even imagine what will happen next. I don't know where to turn or what to try. I have to pick him up from school in one hour. So not looking forward to that...

Moving up and out

Well, the first day of the new school went...OK. He did not spend much time in the "regular ed" class room, but no one expected him to on the first day. I did not get one phone call, though. And, when I picked him up, he was relaxed and happy. He wants to go back and try again. When I dropped him off, he didn't beg me to stay, and just followed his teacher in. His teachers like him, and recognize his intelligence, even through the fits and non-compliance. I think this placement will work out MUCH better. It's still really early in the game to say for sure, but it certainly seems better so far.
Peace out.

School Daze

OK, so it's been a looooonnnnnnggggg time. Things have been so crazy. Summer school was difficult, and then we started "real" school. This was the first year he was completely mainstreamed. It has been a disaster from the first day. They have called me everyday (for 9 days). Now yesterday I find out that NO ONE in the school has any autism experience at all, that the school last year exaggerated his progress ALOT, and that the "team" at this school wants him OUT. We have had to scramble to find him a new school against our wishes. I am beyond angry, and beyond upset. We found a school that has an autism program, but they are mostly profoundly autistic. They are, however, willing to do everything possible to work with him, stress inclusion, and may even facilitate skipping a grade if possible. He will start there tomorrow. We are all flustered, and I am, as I speak, writing a whole host of letters about this mess to whoever I can think of. What a mess. We can only hope and pray it works out for this best. I give it 3 weeks, and then I will reevaluate.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

OK, we're sleeping a little better. But now, it's all tantrums, all the time. Yesterday we went out to breakfast before school. We do that sometimes, just for fun. Little man decided he wanted to go somewhere else before scchool. Anyplace, really. Toy store was choice number one. BUT, there was of course no time. Somehow that did not make sence to him. So, there was head hitting, yelling, kicking and screaming. Because I "refused" to make some time. The fact that there was no time to do that was completely insignificant to him. "But Mama, make some time!!"

That is one example, but it's been endless tantrums about EVERYTHING. Getting in the shower, getting out of the shower, getting dressed, having breakfast, putting shoes on, going to school, doing homework, eating dinner, getting ready for bed, going to bed, staying in bed... Need I say more?

Yikes, what's a mama to do??

Oh, well, keep on keeping on, I guess...

Peace out.

We can do magic...

OK, not really. But we bought him a sound machine. It makes different noises which you can pick. He picked "bird". He is definitely getting to sleep earlier, but he comes into our room continuously from 8 to about 9:30. But that is WAAAAYYYYY better than it was.

We shall see if this will last. Who knows.

Peace out.

We need sleep!!

I just figured out today that I haven't slept in 88 months!! I get more tired just thinking about it. He just won't/can't sleep at night. He gets up and comes into our room. Then he wants to have a conversation. I just can't converse at 3:00, but apparently, he can. Of course, he is getting more and more tired from all this. At the same time, he is getting MUCH more cranky. This leads to meltdown, meltdown, meltdown. What I wouldn't give for a full night's sleep.

Ah well, this too shall pass.

Peace out.

Visits with family

Well, more of the same. We had some family visit us, and we all went out to lunch. Our son wanted them to just go away. This is family he absolutely loves, but for some reason... Anyway, after lunch, we went to Starbucks. He was just miserable. He refused to look at us, or even sit with us. Needless to say, our family felt really bad. He was just so mad at everyone. Maybe just too much stimulation - being out AND extra people. Who knows?

Night time continues to be difficult. He's getting better at staying in his room at night, but he just doesn't want to sleep. This, of course, leads to being very tired in the morning. So, it is now very difficult to get him ready for school.

Always something. As usual, we keep on keeping on. What else can we do?

Peace out.

And the beat goes on...

Well, here we are again. Same story last night. Same story again this morning. Today he told us that he would get up in the morning, IF we would help him get to sleep at night. This kid should negociate in the Middle East. We are keeping up the good fight though. He has to understand that he can do things for himself. His self-esteem is just not good. When he accomplishes this, he can really be proud. And then we can all experience the beauty of a full night's sleep. Ahhhh, the bliss!!!

Peace out.

A little peak in...

"He doesn't look autistic." "All kids are difficult." "I would just ...(fill in your parenting advise here)... That's what worked for MY kid."


These are the comments we deal with everyday. Yes - he's autistic. Yes - all kids are "difficult". And yes, I'm sure your parenting style works just fine with your kid.


This is our kid. His behaviour is difficult. Our problems are different. Our LIFE is different. What is the same is that we love our kid. He is our gift, our miracle, and our sunshine. And that is what we struggle to remember when it's too dark, and when our bodies and spirits are drained.


Here's the challenge of the week. He has never fallen asleep by himself. He has never slept through the night. Yeah, yeah, I know. Someone is going to say - "You should have let him cry it out when he was a baby". Would not have worked, even had we tried. This is the most persistant child EVER!!!


Anyway - back to the present. We are trying to get him to fall asleep by himself. Is it working? Can a 6 year old get himself to sleep? Not this one. He is up all night, jumping, singing, talking, etc. Is he tired? A little, but not as tired as we are. Eventually, at around midnight or so, he will come into our room, and sleep on his mattress on the floor by our bed. As if this were not bad enough (and it really is), he won't get up in the morning. Too sleepy. So, we have to spend the mornings figuring out ways to struggle him into his clothes so we can put him on the bus to school. Strangely, his behaviour at school has never been better. Maybe just too tired to argue? Sadly, by the time he gets home, he has plenty of energy to argue. Ah well, this too shall pass.


Onward and upward to see what tomorrow will bring. Peace out.