The Farm - Part One (or, “are you sure?”)

Last week, AJ and I were going to a field trip at a farm that makes maple sugar. We were running late (which I hate more than anything). We’d had a rough morning. AJ wouldn’t get in the shower. Once he was in the shower, he wouldn’t wash his hair. Once he washed his hair, he wouldn’t get out. And on and on until we got in the car. Not a great start.

Once we got in the car, the “conversation” started.

AJ: But, Mama, what will the farm be like? Will it be outside or inside? Will it be cold? Will there be lots of people there? Will the sugar be vegetarian? Will there be animals? I saw a farm with animals once. On my gameboy, there’s a game with animals, but I don’t like it. I like robots. Did you know that there’s a robot that was programmed to show emotion?

I don’t actually need to answer any of these questions. He’s just talking to talk. I can tell because he started the sentence with “but”. That usually indicates that an off-topic monologue is about to start. I have to listen, though, because you never know.

He goes on with his “conversation” for almost the 45 minute drive. The content varies very little. He mostly repeats the sentences in different order or slightly rephrased. It’s just AJ, and I’m mostly used to it.

Then, a question that he wants answered comes out. I know it needs an answer, because it’s a question he always asks on the way to someplace new.

AJ: “Mama, what if it’s too loud, or if there are too many kids? What is going to happen, EXACTLY?”

Mama: “I don’t know, baby, but I know it will be fine.”

AJ: “Are you sure?”

Mama: “I’m sure.”

AJ: “Are you REALLY sure?”

Mama: “100% sure.”

AJ: “How?”

Mama: “Because it always is. And, even if it’s not, we always handle it together.”

AJ: “Oh, yeah, that’s right.”

And, so it goes…

Dear AJ

Starbucks responded!!!!

Here's what they said:


Hello,


Thank you for filling out a comment card when you came to our store on October 16th.

I want to say that I'm sorry the music was too loud and we haven't put up signs before we change things in our stores.

Your suggestions were great! What I'm going to do is send them to the store managers so that we can try to change things.

If you are ever in a store and the music is too loud, or anything else that we can change so that we can make the store better for you please ask the staff working.

We are happy to help!

Thank you for helping us improve what we do.

If you have any more questions I can help you with please let me know.

Warm wishes,
Monica L.
Customer Relations

They actually included contact information, too.  I'm going to show it to AJ tomorrow.  I'm pretty impressed that they responded, in something other than a form letter.  We'll see if they do the things that they said, but I'm impressed anyway.  And, AJ can get to see that constructive criticism is more efficient than whining and complaining.
 
Two thumbs up, Starbucks!!

Dear Starbucks

AJ HATES Starbucks.  Not the coffee - that he really likes (black, no sugar, thank you very much).  It’s the actual buildings.  They are too loud, too quiet, too bright, too dark, too small, too large, just too.  He’ll walk in there in a perfectly good move, and come out 10 minutes later like a hungry black bear that was woken up during hibernation.  Just not pretty.

So, he decided to do something about it.  Boycotting wasn’t working - cause Mama and Mamu LOVE Starbucks.  And we like to go there, and sit and talk - you know - with actual adults.  So, AJ found comments cards.  He decided that they were going to get his comments. God help them!!

Here’s what he wrote. Word for word. I didn’t change a thing. Swear it. This is actually how he talks…



To Whom It May Concern,

I am a 9-year old kid with autism, which is a neurological issue that changes the way I see the world. Kids (and adults) with autism also may not be able to process/compute too much noise, etc, or changes. But some changes are good. For example, if the music was quieter, I could keep it together longer, or if there were “coming soon” signs before an appearance change. These changes wouldn’t just be for me, but for autistic people all over the world.

Signed,
Kid Who Wants Change


Let’s see if we get any responses from Starbucks. I think it’s a pretty good letter, and I like that he is doing something other than complaining.

Pretty cool.

Before 9AM

OK, pity party is over.  I want to thank Ivy from Into The Wind (great blog - check it out), for her very kind comments.

Now, for something completely different - OK, not completely...  Still whining, but in a more light hearted way.  Here goes:

Here's what I do before 9AM on most mornings.  Wonder why I'm exhausted all the time??

1. Get up (after 2 hours sleep)

2. Work Out

3. Help AJ Meditate

4. Finish Our Laundry

5. Start AJ Laundry

6. Take Shower

7. Get Ready

8. Help AJ Finish Getting Ready

9. Make AJ Breakfast

10. Make My Breakfast

11. Eat My Breakfast

12. Encourage AJ To Eat His Breakfast

13. Make My Lunch

14. Make AJ Lunch

15. Start Dinner

16. Put Dry Dishes Away

17. Wash Breakfast Dishes

18. Take Trash Out

19. Kill “Bug” That’s Making AJ Freak Out (it’s a dust bunny)

20. Look Up Directions to whereever we are going today

21. Print Out Directions

22. Get AJ To Put His Shoes On

23. Put My Shoes On

24. Type This List

25. GO CRAZY!!!!!!!!

And that's before 9.  After we come home from said field trip, there is still our standarad home school curriculum, lunch, playing, more laundry, more cleaning, getting dinner started...

I need a nap!!

WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER TIMES?

I usually blog about the cool stuff that AJ does - stuff that’s funny or cute or touching. But what about the other stuff?

What about when it’s raw and painful?

What about when it’s just ugly? Does anyone want to hear about that?

What if a little boy walks up to AJ and says “Do you want to be on my team?” and AJ screams in his face “NO!”, and the little boy cries?

What if AJ says “Yeah, I know I made you cry, but I don’t feel bad about it?”

What if AJ hits me and laughs?

What if I cry and AJ’s response is “Will you shut up, I’m trying to think?”

What if AJ spends an entire day hitting, screaming, and making fun of me?

What if I completely lose my cool and scream back at him?

What if it all gets to be too much and I consider residential placement because he’s getting so violent?

What if the only thing I want for my birthday is to be alone, and I can’t get it?

What if the bad days outnumber the good?

What if AJ runs away in a corn maze and I can’t find him for what seems like forever, and when I do, he runs away again?

What if this is the new normal?

Just a Little Funny

If you are easily offended by blasphemy, stop reading now!!

OK, you're still here.  If you get offended, remember, you were warned...

When I get annoyed, sometimes I blaspheme.  Just minor.  I say "JESUS!!", but I say it so that it sounds like "Hey-Zeus".  I don't know why - I just do...

So this morning, I was carrying something heavy down the stairs, and "hey-zeussing" all the way down.  AJ was down there waiting for me.  Here's what he said:

"Mama, why do you keep calling me 'Zeus'?"  (You get it right??  HEY ZEUS)

Needless to say, I laughed so hard that I now need a new tool box.  I will not be explaining to ANYONE what happened to the current one.

Also this morning, AJ and I were working out to an "Arms & Abs" video.  What?!?  It's part of the P.E. curriculum.  Anyway, the guy in the video kept talking about his "abdominals", and how we could have fantastic abdominals just like him.  AJ's take on this?  You asked for it:

"Mama, why does he want us to have 'fantastic dominoes'?"

See, this is why I never get anything done.  I keep hurting myself laughing too hard!!

We Must Be Doing Something Right

AJ was watching Penguins of Madagascar.  Lisa and I were talking about some friends of ours that are going through a difficult time.  I commented to Lisa that many of our friends had difficult childhoods, and some of them were horrific.

AJ: "What's a bad childhood, Mama?"

What - he's listening???  Crap!!

Me: "Well, some kids grow up with parents who don't always do the right thing for them."

There, that should do it.

AJ: "What do they do?"

Did I really think that would work - silly Mama!!

Lisa: "Some parents don't give enough hugs, or say 'I love you' enough."

Cindy: (getting emotional) "And those kids grow up to be adults who need a lot of love - they need people to tell them they are good people - that they deserve love."

I may have babbled on and on, and on, and on but for brevity sake, let's pretend I was concise...

Suddenly, AJ is giving me the tightest hug.

Me: "Thanks, AJ.  What was that for??"

AJ: (as he's tackling Lisa with a giant hug) "That's for being great parents!"

Go ahead - tell me you're not crying a little bit!!  Gotta love this kid.